Proverbs 31 Hope Chest: Trustworthy
Building up a hope chest is more than just a physical task. It has deeper spiritual implications that will affect your entire future! As Christian women, we need to make sure that our motivation is always Biblical. Let’s take a deeper dive into Proverbs 31 to find out what the Bible has to say about the virtuous woman-after all, she should be our inspiration! Today we’ll dive into being trustworthy.
The Biblical Woman Must be Trustworthy
“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil” Proverbs 31:11
There is a lot to break down in this verse that you might have just skimmed over without really thinking about it. But I believe each and every word in Scripture is there for a reason. A lot of time we read a verse, comprehend it at a very shallow level, and then move on, assuming that it simply means whatever we assume it means. We need to slow down and dig into each verse to understand each word, the context, the culture, etc. Now, I’m not saying that the Bible has to be interpreted to find some hidden meaning, only that it has so much more to offer than a shallow understanding of the words.
Being Trustworthy to Win his heart
The heart of her husband is a great example of where to start digging in and understanding. We can infer some deeper meaning from this phrase. First, the husband is trusting with his heart, not his mind. To trust with your heart is spiritual- sometimes beyond logic and maybe even more important than just knowing that you can trust someone. Let’s compare this knowing Jesus- even the devils know Jesus. But salvation comes through a deeper experience of faith in Jesus. Faith takes place in your heart! Knowledge takes place in your mind.
Logic vs. Spirit i.e. mind vs. heart
Proverbs 31 is all about the virtuous woman who can win her husband’s heart. But then, how do you cause someone to trust you with their whole heart? Well, first let’s look at how someone might trust you with their mind. To trust a person with your mind is to think logically. Generally speaking, we trust people to tell the truth, not to steal, to follow the law, etc. Logic tells us to trust someone until they prove themselves untrustworthy. We typically believe what people tell us until we find out they’ve lied.
I think that trusting with our heart is the harder route- and maybe the opposite. Our heart is wary, ever ready to defend and protect itself. To trust someone with your heart requires vulnerability- to open yourself up, to possibly expose a weakness. This fact is a great example of why falling in love is such an emotional process. It’s easy to look at someone and recognize that they aren’t a criminal, they have a job, they don’t lie or steal or cheat. That isa logical trust. But to navigate the spiritual and emotional connection of trusting with the heart is a whole other thing.
Learn to become trustworthy
So the question remains: how can I become the woman whom my husband can trust with his heart? My answer: prove it! There is no logic here- only a proving ground. The woman who can be trusted by her husband must prove her character. Naturally this should be done before marriage, which is why I’m assigning it as a task for the hope chest, but it can certainly be done after marriage. That is a a study for another time and place. To become trustworthy for your future husband, you must prove yourself in many areas, most of which are outlined in the remainder or Proverbs 31. Ultimately, I believe it comes down to consistently showing that you are wise, prudent, keep confidence, serve the Lord etc. Before a man can open up his heart to trust you, he has to calm all of the fears and stresses of life that weigh on his shoulders.
Why must she be trustworthy?
Now how did I jump from “trusting with his heart” to ” relieving all the stress first”? Let’s look at the second half of our verse. “…so that he shall have no need of spoil”. The word “spoil” in our common vernacular is used describe decay or rottenness, or the process of something going bad. But in Websters 1828 Dictionary, it’s defined as ” to plunder, to seize, to take by violence”. In other words, spoil is the bounty of war. When an army obtains victory, they spoil the other army by taking all of their food and goods. As an army, they would be at war, not able to work their fields for food or income. So the spoil would provide for them and their family. The spoil is the provision!
So, let’s go back to idea of removing the stresses of life before a man can open his heart. The husband of a virtuous wife has the stresses of life just like any other man- earning an income, providing a home, managing his finances, keeping his family safe, raising his children, worrying about other men stealing his wife. Before he can open up his heart, he has to accomplish or assuage each of those stresses- almost as if they’re roadblocks on the way to his heart. The virtuous woman must prove herself to NOT be a liability in these ares, to be capable of managing each of these things without him, and to be willing to commit her life to those tasks rather than demanding them of him.
Proving yourself trustworthy
As the woman proves herself in each area, a stress is removed from her husbands shoulders and his heart is opened up a bit more, until finally his heart trusts in her so completely that he doesn’t even worry about the spoil anymore! Not only does he not worry about it, but the verse says he has no NEED of it! What an accomplishment as a wife to have a husband who has removed the stresses of life to free himself to trust her completely! THAT is love.
I still haven’t quite explained HOW to earn this trust. That explanation will come over the course of dozens of lessons in this Bible study series. I think there are many areas that men need to see consistency in order to fully trust that their wife can handle a certain thing. I’ll list some of the most important ones here and we’ll learn more throughout the serious as we examine each characteristic of the Proverbs 31 woman.
The virtuous woman must prove herself in there areas:
chaste- free from all unlawful commerce, free from obscenity, pure in language, genuine, uncorrupt, free from barbarous words and phrases and free from quaint, affected, extravagant phrases. 2 Corinthians 11:2, Titus 2:5, 1 Peter 3:2
diligent– steady in application to business, constant in effort, not lazy, careful. Read through proverbs to find myriad wisdom and promises about being diligent. See verse on diligence here.
resourceful/thrifty– having the ability to find quick and clever ways to overcome difficulties. Imagine how a husband might feel if he has to constantly find a solution for every challenge his wife faces. A wise man will seek out a wife that is a good steward, creative with her resources, and he will trust that she can make good use of whatever he provides, no matter the amount!
a keeper at home– this one encompasses so much more that I can put in a short summary. we will look at this in depth later in this Bible study series. A virtuous woman maintains her home, builds her home, directs her home, creates a warm and safe and comfortable environment. And most importantly- she is actually in the home, not out and about being a busy body, living a riotous life, etc.
holy– she is set apart, dedicated to the Lord, modest, Christlike
law of kindness– yes another attribute that will require an entire study, the law of kindness is in her tongue.
Learn to be trustworthy!
These traits and many more are not only wise for any woman to develop, but we will also find that many of them are biblical commands. The aged women are called to teach the younger women these things over the course of their young life so that they may be godly women, godly wives, and godly witnesses! The entire chapter of Proverbs 31 has the goal of the woman being trustworthy so that her husband’s heart may safely trust in her!
Which of these things is your biggest challenge? What can you do to work towards obtaining that trait, and how can you apply it to your hope chest?!
